Eat The Turnbuckle / Knuckle Fuck Cunt Shit / Masters Of Six / The Pluralses @ Favorite's

by Karl Bakla.

A punk show on a Wednesday night often results in more people in bands than people in the audience, so I was stoked to see a healthy sized crowd this night. The first band that played was the Pluralses, they played a short quick set of poppy Punk Rock tunes that were funny. They have a song called Who's Dick Do I Got To Suck, To Get A Blowjob?, comedy genius! Sadly the crowd was just starting to get their drink on, so they got a few heads bobbing, but there were no stage dives. I liked them a lot!

The second band was Masters Of Six, I guess this is what you would call "Artsy". The singer / bass player was a black man wearing a swastika t-shirt & sporting a pervert mustache. The guitar player looked like Michael Alig during his pre-prison club kid days. The band played slow tempo funky songs with perverted lyrics, such as putting your dick in it or some shit. I don't remember what the lyrics were, but it was catchy enough for Bethany to drunkenly sing-a-long. A lot of the people I talked to compared them to Flipper, fuck that… Flipper rules! The majority of the crowd seemed bored, but there were a handful of people that looked like they did heroin that seemed to enjoy them.

The Third band was basically the second band with a blonde haired woman singing, they were called Knuckle Fuck Cunt Shit or some shit. This band fucking sucked & not in a fun way! Sure I have been in my fair share of mediocre to awful bands, but at least you could tell we tuned our guitars and practiced enough to make music that was forgettable. This sounded like a bunch of 14 year olds picked up some instruments for the first time & started jamming. If that was the case it would have been brilliant, sadly these people were old. Sure, I hated every moment of this band's set, but the previously mentioned heroin addicts seemed to like it & they were doing their best reenactment of the Buffalo Bill dance. If Buffalo Bill is reading this, my answer is, Yes, I would fuck you! I'd fuck you hard! This band was no Q Lazzarus & the crowd wasn't treated to anything nearly as rocking as Goodbye Horses.  At the end of Kunt Knucle Fuck Shit Piss’s set they did a cover of the Christmas classic Santa Baby, but with lyrics updated to Dumpster Baby.

When Anal Cunt Piss Fuck were done playing, I wanted to leave. That shit was unpleasant, but I stuck it out anyway and I was glad I did because Eat The Turnbuckle combined Hardcore with backyard wrestling! Sure, I'm not usually one for bands with gimmicks, but these guys had the chops musically & physically to keep me interested. From the beginning of their set Eat The Turnbuckle unleashed a barrage of Violence, from barbed wire being bashed into one members head, to another member having a fluorescent tube smashed over his skull. A couple songs in and the entire band was covered in blood, fuck… Aids! Just as fast as Eat The Turnbuckle's set began it ended with a member of the band climbing up a ladder, jumping on top of the PA speakers, diving off, & landing on a guy that was laying on a door that was propped up with two saw horses, the two crashed through the door and onto the floor. The best comparison I can give this band musically is the Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza or possibly early Integrity with a dash of Antiseen! If this band rips through your town or returns to Las Vegas I highly suggest showing up. 

---