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Written by GE 138.  So here it is - the album we've all been waiting for, the one the Descendents have been teasing us about releasing for what now, the past 10 years or so? In between all their nostalgic oldies circuit festival appearances, where they played the same "greatest hits' sets over and over and over again, only now do we get a collection of new tunes, better late than never, with an almost certainty of some soon to be timeless classics in the mix, songs they're gonna be playing 20 years from now, songs that will stand proudly alongside such hits as Coolidge, Myage, I Don't Wanna Grow Up, Clean Sheets, etc., right? Right? I wish I could tell you the wait was worth it, but sadly it isn't. This Descendents album blows big time. If you measure it against any of their classic releases that have come beforehand, than this Descendents album falls way short on every level possible. It's not even as good as Cool To Be You, which was their last release and probably the weakest release in their catalog. I wanted so badly to like this album, but after repeated listenings I can't even pretend to like any song on here. It sounds like a band pretending to be the Descendents, but without the talent to do it. Production wise it sounds killer, but I dunno, something's off, something's lame, I can't put my finger on it. I try and I try, listening to it over and over again, but I don't get it. I'm not hearing it. The subject material is what you'd expect from a bunch of middle aged men such as the Descendents - food, love lost, death, recovery, etc., but it's all somehow presented in a very bland, uninspiring way as to not hold your interest in things in any way, shape or form. I mean, it's all there, the anthemic guitar work, Milo's unique vocal delivery, the bombastic drumming from Mr. Stevenson, and the noodling bass work, but still, it's just, blah, it's just... boring, and that's something I thought I'd never say about a Descendents album, that's for sure. I guess it's cool because "at least it's something", but I dunno, all that time they had to put together an album, and this lame titled Hypercaffium Spazzinate is the best that the Descendents can come up with? I might be stupid on saying this but I was kind of expecting something better than this album. I wanted something more, something better, and I definitely didn't get it with this release. And that's sad. Available everywhere that Punk Rock Music is marketed as the cheap commodity that it is. Thank you Epitaph Records for that! LOL I'm sure you can buy this CD at every overpriced shit festival the band plays as well. You can find this latest release from the Descendents on iTunes (click here), Amazon (click here), and even on their new/old label Epitaph Records by clicking here.
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