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Descendents / Modern Baseball / Sharp/Shock @ The Hollywood Palladium

10/1/2016

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Written by GE 138.

Descendents Tour PosterFlyer stolen from Internet.
Talk about visiting the ghost of Punk Rock past... LOL

What the Hell was I doing back at the Hollywood Palladium on a Sat. night trying to scam tickets to get into a sold out Descendents gig? LOL Was I out of my mind? Probably. I was just finishing up a Youth Gone Mad practice in Whittier, when Gabe from Our Band Sucks (playing 2nd guitar with us, which is really cool) mentioned that the Descendents were playing at the Hollywood Palladium. I had nothing better to do so I said 'fuck it' and packed up my gear and hung out for a bit with everyone before heading towards the freeway to make the trek to Hollyweird. It was either this or go back to my hotel room and do nothing, so I sought the road that lead to adventure.

First off, the traffic on the drive into LA was even more horrific than I remembered. Traffic on Sunset was a nightmare of Lovecraft proportions. Parking? I wanted to kill people. And after all this, I just gave some idiot money for a ticket to a band that I don't want to see, because I know they're going to suck. I know this, and yet I go in anyways and stand among the stinky unwashed masses all paying tribute to these aging shells of humans that once comprised one of the best bands out there, period, and I'm doing it all in the name of... boredom? ha ha ha

I didn't pay much attention to opening band Sharp/Shock, because I was just walking around the Palladium revisiting ghosts of a long gone era. Last time I was here I was on the roof getting high with Bubba Whitesell and Mark Mahoney and Gil Monte during some tattoo convention in the 90's, being chased by Sara Gilbert. And now I was here on the inside and trying to avoid listening to Sharp/Shock, who sounded and looked a lot like Mercy Music, but with testosterone. I'll pass. Modern Baseball just flat out sucked. I don't know who's dick they sucked to get on the bill, but it wasn't enough. Vapid, boring, pseudo Beardcore bullshit with no energy, nothing interesting going on musically, and just massive suckiness coming off the stage in waves. Hipster Punk. Any band that lets a drummer sing a few lines during songs is never good. I stood in the smoking section horrified as people down below on the floor were singing along to what Modern Baseball were playing, acting like the girls you see in those old Beatles live concert films from the 60's. Lame. As. Fuck.

It was only me and a few other addicted, old bored souls who were left standing by ourselves in the smoking section when the Descendents started playing their set, and the floor area got even more packed than it was before, if that was possible. 10,000 cell phones were raised in the air as the band took to the stage. They opened with Everything Sucks, and that pretty much set the tone for the night. The sound inside the Palladium is still shitty, unless you're up close and can hear the amps on the stage, and it didn't help that the band was playing everything a step and a half sloooow. They seriously sounded bad. I was embarrassed. Milo sounded terrible, not even singing most songs, talking and mumbling his way through the lyrics, and unable to finish most of the singing - the crowd was doing a better job singing than he was.  His voice was hoarse, cracked often, and was just sad to hear. The more I stuck around, the more depressed I became. They played all the hits, a few surprises (Rotting Out, Victim Of Me), the songs from the new album sucked and I was bored to tears. People were losing their shit and rocking out and singing along, and I was just standing there thinking to myself, 'am I the only one who hears how bad this sounds?'. Apparently I was, because as I was leaving about halfway through their set, people were looking at me like I was insane. Leaving while the Descendents were playing was once anathema, but now it just seemed like the right thing to do. I didn't want those old guys stumbling their way through their set take away the memories of all the great times I've seen the Descendents before. You guys can drink that Kool-Aid. I'll pass.
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