I'm nervous, like really nervous. Nervous and scared. I was never scared of anything before, but then I lost my leg and now I'm scared of everything - of falling down and hurting myself, of looking stupid while walking around, of fucking up my leg while playing drums, or even of dying old and alone, all new fears to me, all fears that are now a part of my daily life. Whatever. Tonight I put all that bullshit aside to pay tribute and honor to my brother, my bandmate, a man that I'm proud to say meant the world to me, because without him telling me that we were gonna get to the finish line, without Tyson's constant reassurances that everything was gonna be ok, that I was gonna walk again, play drums again, and that things were gonna work out for the better, I wouldn't even be alive, much less able to play 2 sets at his memorial gig tonight. It was all because of him. Everything good with me was because of him. Everything. Every morning when this monster straps things on and screws things together in order to face the day and put forth the fallacy of being normal and not handicapped, I'm reminded of Tyson and just how lucky I was to spend the time with him that I did. Thousands if not millions of memories, stories, and shared moments. Amazing. Truly an Honor. I didn't have to play the gig tonight but I wanted to play this gig tonight, if you can tell the difference. There was no way I was gonna miss out on playing this thing. No fucking way.

     So yeah, then there's this gig I've been talking about. The personal drama, the bad luck involved, the bad breaks with the planning, the lazy, pettiness of some band members playing and not playing the gig, I mean, fuck, it's enough to make you pull your hair out and scream in frustration!! God bless Janoff for putting up with it all and putting things together and making it all work out in the long run. It's been nothing short of a miracle. At first I wanted nothing to do with the gig, not ready to think about playing drums again, much less without Tyson, who always asked me to play drums in all his various projects, which is funny, because when I auditioned for the Vegascendents, like, about 15 years ago, he didn't like me or my drumming! The bastard! 😆 Jeremy convinced him to give me another chance, and the rest, as they say, is history. So here I go. Again. For Tyson. It was always for Tyson. Every project he could think of doing, he'd include me as the drummer. Aluminum Falcon. Minor Threat cover band. Beastie Boys tribute band. His Protocol Zero solo project, which started out as some Beardcore project but evolved into a really tight, cohesive musical force to be dealt with. Believe me. I have the recordings to prove it. 😎 All these things that Tyson wanted me to be a part of, I never got the chance to tell him 'thanks' for including me in all that, those creative, fun times and amazing memories of the places we went, songs we created together, and the millions of laughs and smiles we shared and indulgd in, both on stage and off. Yeah, I never gotta chance to thank him for all that, for everything really, but I will when I see him again... 

Le sigh. 💔​

The fact that people I know are getting excited for this shit just makes me sad. 😢

​Welcome to fucking Vegas. 🤮

     Bob and I have been kicking this one back and forth since finding out the terrible news yesterday that Will Watkins had passed away a few days earlier. It definitely hit hard since we both had so much love for that crazy critter. A true LV Punk Rocker if there ever was one, and definitelty a local legend in the music scene. He should have a plaque somewhere in this city letting people know that they missed out on knowing a true Vegas legend, someone that those of us who knew him well can say without the slightest bit of hesitation. Will was a bit of a nutter, a character if you must, someone you'd never forget after meeting him once and I'm gonna miss him terribly now that hes gone. Sooooooo many memories... soooooooo many good times and laughter shared with that kid that I first met hanging around The Underground record store way back in the daze. After that I would see him everywhere - every Punk gig, Punk show, Punk event or gathering, he was always there, hanging about with his skateboard and his dog, always just smiling and enjoying the moment.  I'm not gonna eulogize him by trying to paint him as a saint because he wasn't, but what he was was a good man who had his own demons to fight like all of us and who paid the price for his personal battles as we all will. My condolances go out to his family and friends during this trying time. It's sad that Death has to appear to make us realize just how special people are in our lives, and all the time i gor to spend with Will was a gift, truly a blessing. Save me a seat at the bar hombre. Until we meet again...

Go easy, step lightly, stay free. 

     I love it when I hear people play my drum lines completely wrong and messed up... heh It amuses me. No need to explain why. It just does. 

Circles man. It's a trip. Everything works in circles. Like sometimes you're doing something, and a year later you're back at the same point. You understand that? I do now. 😉

Happy New Years everyone. 22's gotta be better than 21, right? Right! 😎