Written by GE 138.
I met my date in The Lobby Bar at the MGM Grand for some pregame drinks and catching up. I hadn't seen her in a while, she looked great, and it was good to catch talk with her. She was the reason why I was at this ass kiss sellout fiasco in the first place. She said there was nobody she'd rather see the Misfits with than me. I almost believe her. So we're sitting there at the bar in prime position for people watching, knocking back in record time some Guinness / Jameson neat combos that would cripple most normal drinkers after just a few. I can drink like a motherfucker, she tells me, and this I have no problem believing... ha ha ha I'm sitting there chatting with her for hours before the gig, and watching the crowd walking around was worth the price of admission alone. Seemed everyone thought to wear every piece of Misfits apparel they owned all at the same time to the show, in some vain egotistical effort to prove to others just how much of a bigger fan they were than anybody else in the world. It was pretty pathetic and made me feel a bit queasy about being there, but oh well. Wasn't like I paid for the tickets - she did. And if you were one of the suckers who bought tickets to the show the minute they went on sale, well you got what you deserved. The day of the show they were practically giving away tickets (floor for $65, nosebleed for $10) and that's what she did and got some primo seats no problemo. Sometimes it pays to be patient and see how things are gonna play out in the end. ;)
The gig starts at 7. FEAR goes on first at 8, which is a travesty and a sham. FEAR opening up for those lame-o's Alkaline Trio? Who's idea was that? Is this the 'something old, something new and ghey' line of thinking here? LOL You wanna go see FEAR play? she asks, me, and I tell her not really, I didn't go see them when they played The Dive earlier this year, and that I'm happy just sitting there with her, drinking and talking and gambling, and so we do just that. So I missed seeing FEAR play a big half empty arena. Boo Hoo. And there was no way I was going in there to see Alkaline Trio play, because I'm not an Emo girl that shops at Hot Topic, nor an effeminate male who wishes he had a pussy between his legs and is empathetic to the emotional needs of clingy females. Jab jab. So we missed seeing them play too. Oh well. I was feeling so good I didn't give a shit about seeing the Misfits play. I really didn't. Some friends texted me and said they were drinking at Pub 1842 and to meet them there, so we closed out our cards and stumbled our way to the pub. It was 9-ish. We still had time before the Misfits were supposed to play at 10.
I hadn't seen this particular couple of friends in years. We were once as thick as thieves and now we were just.. well, we just were. We ordered drinks and were catching up bullshitting and whatnot when we heard the roar of the crowd coming from the MGM Grand Garden Arena right next to us. The Misfits had hit the stage and we had missed it. Rats. We all quickly paid up our tabs and scrambled outside to deal with the nonsense of getting into the place, which included a long ass zig zagging queue and going through 2 metal detectors and putting your cell phone in some sort of locked purse device so you couldn't take pictures or videos of the show. Whatever. Who would want to anyways, ya know? People made a big deal about it on social media but I didn't give a fuck. It's annoying trying to watch a band through a sea of people using their cell phones to video tape the band instead of just watching the band and rocking out. All these overkill security measures seemed silly and useless but whatever. If Danzig didn't want unflattering pictures of his bulging gut or growing bald spot what did I care? Thankfully everybody was already inside the place, so going through all this unnecessary BS was relatively painless and quick. After scurrying past the massive merch display we ducked into a dark opening and BAM! there they were, The Misfits, in all their old, fat, bald, beefcake glory, for better or for worse, and they were ripping through 20 Eyes and it sounded terrible! ha ha ha We wandered around past groups of workers and Metro police, who were EVERYWHERE, and nobody asked to see our tickets or seemed to give a fuck what we were doing, since everybody's attention was turned to the spectacle unfurling on the massive stage at the end of this massive arena. Since nobody was checking our tickets we just wandered down towards the floor until we found some pretty sweet VIP box seats with reclining chairs and a great view of the stage and parked our asses there for the entire show. Nobody bothered us, nobody cared, and the people who were in there when we walked in just got up and left when we entered, so we had the place to ourselves. I laughed because they probably were seat hopping just like we were... lol
The drinks were flowing, the vape pen was glowing, so now onto the show! ha ha First off, the stage. It's adorned on each side by the jack-o-lanterns from the Halloween single, which was cool to see, and above them and to the sides of the stage are huge video monitors showing cheesy looking videos that corresponded to whatever song the Misfits were playing, and right now they were showing sci-fi aliens UFO stuff because they were playing I Turned Into A Martian as we settled into our seats and man did it sound like shit. Is feedback part of their shtick now? They sounded like every shitty Misfits bootleg I own, and it seemed to be on purpose! LOL Dave Lombardo was missing accents and fills, playing fast songs slow and slow songs too fast, Jerry Only's bass was thin, tinny and feeding back like a motherfucker, and Doyle's guitar was no better sounding or played. I'm almost 138% convinced that he doesn't play live, or if he does they have him turned down super low in the mix, because there were lots of times where his hand movements and arm actions didn't match any guitar playing sounds that were coming out of the monitors... ha ha ha At least they let backup guitarist / singer Acey Slade out in front now, and all the guitar sounds I was hearing I saw him playing. He sings A LOT of the lead vocal lines Glenn Danzig is supposed to be singing, which was shocking to see and hear. On songs like Vampira, We Are 138, Die Die My Darling, and Halloween, Acey would cover lead vocals while Danzig was off to the side somewhere breathing hard and adjusting his girdle. It's easy to see why he is having problems breathing with that outfit he's squeezed himself into on stage, and in between songs he kept complaining about how hot the spotlight was and asking why it kept following him around the stage. Oh, and about how there were "swinging dicks and sweaty balls" rocking out on the stage. Classic.
The travesty that it was, in between all the bursts of feedback and squeals and the shitty, overblown sound, at tiny moments, the band sounded almost good, especially on songs like Horror Business, All Hell Breaks Loose, London Dungeon, and She, but for the most part it was out of tune, out of time, noisily glorious squawking, with the band fucking up songs like Green Hell, Last Caress, Where Eagles Dare, and most sadly Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight?. They pretty much fucked up every song they played off of Earth A.D. come to think of it, which was weird, because I thought that would of been the material best suited for Dave's aggressive attack drum style. The real surprise to me was the unexpected songs they played, stuff like Some Kinda Hate (I never heard it played live before), Who Killed Marilyn? (which Danzig prefaced as a solo song and NOT a Misfits song), Violent World (a song Danzig said wasn't played at Riot Fest), and Attitude, the final song of the 4 song encore they played before calling it a night. I lost count, but I think they played about 25 songs, which is pretty good for a bunch of old fucks like the Misfits. They could of played for another hour or so and it wouldn't of made a difference. Nobody was at this place to hear the music - they were there just to say they were there, just to check another aging band they grew up listening to off their bucket list of "Iconic bands to see before you die". It was a fun gig but not because we all were just cheated by the Misfits, but because we were all there tongue firmly planted in cheek and all feeling a bit better and happier when it was all said and done. Highlight of the evening for me was watching the crowd herd out en masse, fingers all a flutter with their precious phones in their hands, now free of the evil constraint bag device, typing away to friends and to social media how much more cooler they were than anybody else now that they'd seen the Misfits play and you didn't... LOL It was also funny to hear Danzig bitch about EVERYTHING in between songs. Damn cantankerous crusty curmudgeon! Bitter much?? LOL Fun night!! :)