Hawthorne Heights - Hate
ha ha ha Sometimes I really wonder why record labels and PR outfits send me the crap that they do. What is this shit and why would you think I would like this? Have you actually read this website? LOL OK. You wanna know what I think of this crap? Fine. First off, it's boring as shit. I skipped through every song trying to find something, ANYTHING worthy of merit or mention and found nothing. Second off, it's fucking slow, melodic Metal-core Emo music that's, again, boring as shit. I probably would of fell asleep listening to this if it didn't make me laugh so much. Third off, the lyrics on here are whiny sissy pussy boy crap that are, again, boring as shit. Would you really cut your heart out and give it to her if you could? Yeah, you probably would, you little girl you. Gawd this stuff sucks. Hawthorne Heights - Man up. Drink a beer. Smoke a cigarette. Get laid. Do something to make your testicles drop and quit polluting the musical environment with this mediocrity and banality. The world will be better off because of that. From Cardboard Empire Records. Barf.
Do you know how much of a boner I sprouted when I saw that there was a new Toy Dolls album available for purchase? Any girl I've ever been with can tell you that it's not much of a boner, but dammit, I got one pretty quickly when I saw this, the latest release from one of my all time favorite bands in the whole wide fucking world. I ordered it, it came pretty quickly through the mail (Thank You Secret Records!), and after slapping it into my CD player, it's been stuck there for like, I dunno, 5 weeks straight now? LOL Yeah, it's that fucking good. Better than anything they've put out in years. I'm so seriously stoked on this. You have no idea. Singer/Songwriter Olga is seriously a fucking genius, crafting the most memorable, catchy melodies out of his guitar and his voice that have ever been created in the history of music, and with his vastly under-rated band mates Tommy Goober on bass and The Amazing Mr. Duncan on drums, they all create what could seriously be considered some of the happiest, cheekiest head bobbing Punk Rock music ever recorded to tape or Pro Tools or whatever. It really is Genius, and to have a new CD in my dirty little mitts from these mad blokes is truly a blessing. I shouldn't have to explain to you just what the Toy Dolls are all about or what they sound like. Either you know about them or ya don't. Fuck right off if ya don't. ;-) If you're a fan, get this shit immediately! It's great! Standout tracks on here include Sciatica Sucks, Credit Crunch Christmas, Don't Drive Yer Car Up Draycott Avenue (which might be the first Toy Dolls song Olga doesn't sing lead vocals on) and Decca's Drunken Dilemma. There's 3 hidden bonus tracks on here of Olga giving in to the current shitty trend of doing classic Punk songs acoustically, and he does Fiery Jack, Cloughy Is A Bootboy and The Sphinx Stinks, which actually sound pretty good but still, this Beardcore shit has got to stop. A remarkable release from the Toy Dolls. One can only hope that a U.S. Tour isn't far away. :-)
Anthrax - Worship Music
Dude, you caught me - I am a HUGE Anthrax fan. Not so much the John Bush era stuff, but the early, classic Belladonna lineup, fuck I love that shit. Sick as fuck drumming, snaky, militaristic guitar riffs and screamed singing vocals just do it for me each and every time. This album was long anticipated and always rumored to be happening, and for a while there it looked like it wasn't ever going to happen, but now that it has, I don't know if it was worth the wait. There's some amazing stuff on this CD, but it's far outshined by the trite, run of the mill stuff that fluffs this album up. Everything that made Anthrax such a great band is here, the mood, the music, and the mayhem, including an odd flourish of some Nu-Metal shit every so often just to keep things fresh. Whatever. After a really unnecessary atmospheric Intro of some sorts, the album finally begins with the next 3 songs on here, Earth On Hell, The Devil You Know and Fight 'Em 'Till You Can't, an impressive trio of some seriously astounding songs. They're like the most brutally powerful Metal knockout combination I've experienced in years. These 3 songs are worth the price of this CD alone, which is a good thing because the rest of this CD is very disappointing. It just gets boring after all that. The songs just sort of drift, the vocals are ghey, all the energy just gets sucked out of the room and the Refused cover at the end is just terribly, terribly, lame. Look, I wasn't expecting another Among The Living, but after all the Drama and the wait for this thing to come out, I thought this release would be much better than it is. Phooey. On Megaforce Records.
Metallica - Beyond Magnetic
I liked Death Magnetic. It was an OK album. It wasn't what it was being hyped up to be, but as a stand alone release, it's pretty good. Better than that crappy St. Anger album, that's for sure. These 4 songs come from those Death Magnetic sessions, and they're presented here sort of unfinished and in their raw, demo quality mix. And BTW, these are some amazing sounding demos! LOL Oh, it must be nice to be a zillionaire rock band like Metallica. Yeah right. Whatever. The opening track, Hate Train, sounds a bit forced, a little stiff, but it's OK. Just A Bullet Away is a twisted, smoking hott song musically, with some pretty corny Hetfield-esque style lyrics that definitely detract from the awesomeness of the song. It turns a bit ghey about midway through it though, so be prepared to fast forward for a bit before the song gets back to being good again. The next song Hell And Back has a sick riff run right in the middle of it, but the stuff before it and after it shows me why this particular song was left off the album. Same with the last song Rebel Of Babylon. It's a bit scattered and not very focused. It's interesting that Metallica released this stuff like they did - more bands should. Hopefully next time the stuff they release will be of much better quality, and much shorter. Some of these songs clock in at over 8 minutes long. Really??Available from Warner Bros. Records.
Too $hort - No Trespassing
ha ha ha Oh man, Too $hort! I love this dude! Ever since getting turned onto his stuff from his seminal 1987 Born To Mack record, I always keep an ear cocked to what he's spitting out. He's one smooth motherfucker, that's for sure. Straight up Pimp. His move to Atlanta and embracing that whole 'Dirty South' sound was a bit weak, but with the resurgence of the Oakland rap scene, it seems Too $hort is now back to embracing his old school sound of booming 808's, dirty raps about nasty things, crazy ass collaborations and smooth as fuck lyrical flowing. His latest release No Trespassing has all that and more. It's really a great release, an easy listen for us long time fans, and fresh enough to appeal to the youngsters who might not know who the Hell Too $hort is. Perish the thought, I know. What The Fuck, Porno Bitch, and Playa Fo' Life, all classic stuff, collaborations with people like 50 Cent, Snoop Dogg, E-40, Richie Rich and Silk-E are fucking great, and every song on here sounds like something you'd hear in a strip club! LOL Too $hort has been in the rap game for more than 25 years, and with this, his 20th release, he shows he's just as Strong and Fresh as he's ever been, and that's saying something. Excellent release from Dangerous Records.