by Karl Bakla.

I always liked the DS-13 song DIY or DIE & when given the choice I prefer to keep my money in the Punk scene, & use my dough to support an independent label, zine, & smaller touring bands, the results are sometimes bad, but more often than not it's well worth it. Now that I am done patting myself on the back, it's time to crack open another beer & listen to this record.

This record was handed to me by someone when I was drunk at Bar 1982, I don't know why they gave it to me, but I assume it's because I look like a stunningly handsome version of Dickie of Leatherface, the perks of being a Celebrity. Soon Alternative Press or AMP Magazine will steal Bob & I away from onethirtyeight.org & we'll know what it's like to be celebrity writers, till then I have to talk about this record that features four bands from the Dang! Records roster & be happy scraping the bowl for resin as my form of payment.

DC Fallout is a band that played Las Vegas a while back… they remind me a lot of Propagandhi, if you are old you will probably dislike them, if you are 30 and used to spend more time snowboarding than rubbing elbows with me at the Elks Lodge you'll more than likely dig this. It will go nicely next to all of your Fat Wreck Chords CD's. If you are under 30 I don't give a shit what you think, you probably listen to the band The Letter You, & try to date my teenage daughters. Stay away from my babies you fucking perverts. The fact that you didn't bring a case of beer when you came to my house to pick up my daughter means you can't take her out to Cozymel's.

Allout Helter play a melodic brand of Hardcore, that goes well with Operation Phoenix era Good Riddance or maybe even Strike Anywhere. If you wear 5X basketball jerseys, sew up your own stab wounds with dental floss, have gold teeth, were arrested because you were on video doing something illegal on the Boston Beatdown documentary, &/or are from the "neighborhood" you will most probably hate this, but if your least favorite band on Victory Records was the One Life Crew, you might like this.

Perdition is a band I recently saw at FEST 11 & they have the party anthem on this 7". If you are fat, disgusting, sport a beard, wear Daisy Duke shorts, wear T-shirts that don't cover your hairy beer-gut, drink PBR, & think of Jim from Panthro UK United 13 as a role model you'll love this band, so in other words Pop Punk with a vocalist that gargles with whiskey every morning. This is easily my favorite track on the entire 7".

Samuel Caldwell's Revenge musically have the Fat Wreck Chords sound too, but with gruff vocals, my second favorite track on this slab-O-vinyl. I'd say more about this band, but I am too fucked up to think & if I type anymore I'd start typing shit about my Mom driving around Hawaii drunk with me in the back seat of her car & her crashing into a building.

Available from Dang! Records by clicking here.

by Karl Bakla.

It is a good thing that the criminal gimmick is just that, because these are the type of guys I would rape in prison & when I am finished, I would whisper in their ear that the only way to avoid further sexual assault is by having their family put money on my canteen account… I know it's mostly because I am old, but this is way too poppy for me & I don't like songs that seem like the song writer is more in love with the idea of being in Love than actually being in Love. I totally get why people love this band, they are catchy, funny, & their songs are cute. When I saw these guys play the place went nuts & everyone was singing along, so I am probably just being a grouch. This album has thirteen poppy songs that make the Archies seem like a Death Metal band. If you listen to Teenage Bottlerocket, Dopamines, Methadones, the Copyrights… etc. you will love this & it will possibly make you cum all over your MP3 player. As for myself, I will be sitting in my cell, saving my shit and urine in a cup so I can splash it on the C.O.’s face. Available from Red Scare Records.