So here it is - the album we've all been waiting for, the one the Descendents have been teasing us about releasing for what now, the past 10 years or so? In between all their nostalgic oldies circuit festival appearances, where they played the same "greatest hits' sets over and over and over again, only now do we get a collection of new tunes, better late than never, with an almost certainty of some soon to be timeless classics in the mix, songs they're gonna be playing 20 years from now, songs that will stand proudly alongside such hits as Coolidge, Myage, I Don't Wanna Grow Up, Clean Sheets, etc., right? Right?

I wish I could tell you the wait was worth it, but sadly it isn't. This Descendents album blows big time.

If you measure it against any of their classic releases that have come beforehand, than this Descendents album falls way short on every level possible. It's not even as good as Cool To Be You, which was their last release and probably the weakest release in their catalog. I wanted so badly to like this album, but after repeated listenings I can't even pretend to like any song on here. It sounds like a band pretending to be the Descendents, but without the talent to do it. Production wise it sounds killer, but I dunno, something's off, something's lame, I can't put my finger on it. I try and I try, listening to it over and over again, but I don't get it. I'm not hearing it. The subject material is what you'd expect from a bunch of middle aged men such as the Descendents - food, love lost, death, recovery, etc., but it's all somehow presented in a very bland, uninspiring way as to not hold your interest in things in any way, shape or form. I mean, it's all there, the anthemic guitar work, Milo's unique vocal delivery, the bombastic drumming from Mr. Stevenson, and the noodling bass work, but still, it's just, blah, it's just... boring, and that's something I thought I'd never say about a Descendents album, that's for sure.

I guess it's cool because "at least it's something", but I dunno, all that time they had to put together an album, and this lame titled Hypercaffium Spazzinate is the best that the Descendents can come up with? I might be stupid on saying this but I was kind of expecting something better than this album. I wanted something more, something better, and I definitely didn't get it with this release. And that's sad.

Available everywhere that Punk Rock Music is marketed as the cheap commodity that it is. Thank you Epitaph Records for that! LOL I'm sure you can buy this CD at every overpriced shit festival the band plays as well. You can find this latest release from the Descendents on iTunes (click here), Amazon (click here), and even on their new/old label Epitaph Records by clicking here.

These guys... ha ha ha ha Where the FUCK did these guys come from? Somebody at one time gave me the heads up on The Pluralses, telling me I'd love them, but I don't remember who that person was but boy, would I love to buy them a drink or two or ten for doing me that favor! hahahha People say that I don't get hyped up on new music, but all I have to do is point out how much I love The Pluralses to prove them wrong. They're a super group of sorts, because The Pluralses are comprised of the members of some legendary Vegas bands, bands like Civic Minded Five, Dead Birds And Blind Kids, and The Mapes - pretty impressive, right? These 3 knuckleheads got together and decided to combat their collective boredom by putting together some songs and jamming them out and just having fun with music once again, and the result of that process, an album called E Pluralses Unum, is the perfect mix of little boy naughtiness and Pop Punk catchiness. The music on here is sticky sweet like cotton candy, addictive like crack, with snotty vocals and memorable as fuck vocal melodies. I dare you to listen to Cocaine Submarine (only available via digital download) and not have it get stuck in your head for weeks after listening to it. The Pluralses remind me in a way of Boris The Sprinkler - they're very cheeky, but clever, and sharp as fucking razors too. With song titles like Whose Dick Do I Gotta Suck To Get A Blowjob Around Here?, I Gave Kanye West My Money, and The Reanimated Corpse Of Steve Jobs Raped My Dog, you can tell these guys actually put some thought into their music and the message therein. The music is just as complex and layered, it's hard hitting, slinky, bit Metal-ish at times, lots of melodious sloganeering vocals, just, really clever stuff that's head and shoulders above all the whiny pseudo Emo bullshit that's been released here locally as of late. The Pluralses are a bit of a throwback to bands that are fun oriented, bands like The Dickies, Adrenaline O.D., or Plain Wrap even, and I can't get over just how fucking great this album really is. It's phenomenal!! I can't stop listening to it and forcing everyone around me to listen to it repeatedly and as much as I do.

My favorites songs on here are Don't Fuck This Up Lavin, Take Your Pants Off, the aforementioned Cocaine Submarine and Who's Dick Do I Gotta Suck... (genius), and if Don't Fuck This Up Lavin doesn't win the Grammy next year for Best New Song then I guess Kurt Cobain's death was all for naught. Phooey.

The Pluralses. Your new favorite band. Embrace it. Own it. Be Proud. Now go forth and reproduce and spread the word about how good this band is! :)

I don't know if this is available in any sort of physical format, because I've never seen it if it exists, but, you can get this incredible collection of tunes digitally via iTunes (click here), CD Baby (click here), or from The Pluralses Bandcamp page, which you can go to by clicking here.